All things being equal, you would think there would never be an issue with having a bathroom to use. You would think....
Let me explain. Bathroom #4 is located downstairs in the basement. No one is allowed to use this bathroom, except my parents, when they're visiting from England. Bathroom #3 is on the main floor. It's a powder room, used primarily by my sons and their friends when they come over to play. Caution... adults, use at your own risk! Bathroom #2 is my en-suite bathroom, but since there is no shower in there, and I prefer showers, I rarely use it. That leaves bathroom #1. It's supposed to be the "little boys" room, but in reality, it's a family bathroom. We all use it. All the time. And during rush hour, it's like Grand Central Station complete with traffic, chaos and line-ups. I call it the #1 John or 1 John.
It seems strange then, that the bathroom would be the place to go for some alone time.
Somedays I need to escape from the Aspergers in my family. Today was one of those somedays. And since a week long cruise alone in the Bahamas wasn't an option. I went to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom, because no matter what, people will generally leave me alone in there .And I
Once inside, I had a good look around. It was untidy and unclean. On the mirror: toothpaste splashes, water marks, finger prints and my sons hair. On the counter: handprints, toothpaste, lotions, potions (all without lids) soap residue in the sink and my son's hair. On the floor: towels, dust, my sons hair. The toilet? Well, with three guys, it's pretty hit and miss. You get the idea.
One look at 1 John and I had a sinking feeling. The bathroom was such a reflection of the state of my own life. Obviously I wasn't keeping up with the housekeeping. But it wasn't just the housekeeping, I wasn't really keeping up with anything. Aspbergers, parenting, bible study, running, writing, cooking, cleaning. In all these things, even with my very best effort, I was still falling well below average. I felt overwhelmed. I felt like I wanted to cry. Then I heard an audible voice...
"But I don't want to"
"But it's dirty"
So I knelt...on the bathroom floor.
For a long time I was quiet. But then, as I knelt there, in the filth of my (our) own making, something lovely happened. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. Quite the contrary. I started to laugh. Not just a chuckle or a giggle, but a full out, a few decimals louder than what is considered polite or normal, near hysterical laugh. For a long time.
I laughed because I was "purging" myself by laughter in the bathroom
I laughed because I was before the "throne" talking to God
I laughed because our bathroom, the place we go to get clean, is the dirtiest room in the house.
I laughed because I was getting a good inner cleansing in the bathroom. No soap or water required.
I laughed because being below average is an act of humble Christian service. People like me make the above average look so much better.
I laughed because I'll only ever be below average. And I'm cool with that.
I laughed because I was suddenly filled with an uncontrollable, overwhelming joy
I laughed because God just proved He will meet you... anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
I felt clean and refreshed.
"Are you okay" the voice waiting outside inquired?
I got up, unlocked the door and said "Yes, I'm fine"
I was about to give him a hug when he said...
"You didn't flush."
"That's right, I didn't" I said flushing a toilet that I hadn't used.
I went to try and hug him a second time
"You didn't wash your hands either."
So, I washed my hands, which were already clean.
I returned to the bathroom a while later, with a note. I posted it on the mirror. I call it my new "scripture." Don't bother looking for it in your bible. It isn't there, because it doesn't exist. It's just my own little reminder. It reads... 1 John (my bathroom) 10:4 (April 10th...today's date.) "Never forget the cleansing that took place in here."
I made a note to leave a bible in the top drawer...just in case. And put my jeans in the laundry. Hot cycle.
I also cleaned the bathroom.
At bedtime, the children saw the note. Thinking it was referring to their (sometimes questionable) hygiene, they worked harder at brushing their teeth before bed. My husband saw it and thought it referred to how I'd cleaned the bathroom. He left it cleaner than he found it. Guess we all got a little cleansing today. And so did 1 John!